Re: inbound notification

The easiest way to accomplish this is to add an ask rule for incoming connections on port 22 (ssh).
You can do the same for ARD. Add two other ask rules one for connections on port 5900 and one for port 5988.

An example rule to be notified about incoming SSH connections.

action: ask
direction: incoming
process: any
owner: system
destination: any
port: 22
protocol: any

(You can copy/paste it directly into Little Snitch Configurations rules window)